Not exactly sure how to start this. I've had several people contact me and ask about the events that lead to us removing Emma from public school. Initially I wasn't prepared to share it all because it was so overwhelming and I was quite bitter. Bitter because I shouldn't have had to pull her. Bitter because I feel her teacher is being paid a salary to meet expectations, basic ones at that. Bitter because I believe I put forth my best effort, put in the necessary time and held myself to a high standard when I taught and simply wanted that for my child.
Finally making the decision to pull her brought some relief & peace. We started full of excitement on the 11th, my birthday. Then that night I was struck with the flu. Oh-my-wurd it was the worst! With one day of school under our belt I attempted to teach Emma while doped on meds from the couch...for the remainder of the week. Or at least the moments of that week I can remember. I was in and out of sleep most of the week. Her brother's survived thanks to her! The next week my mom & sis were here, THEN the next week Matt was off for a week, THEN this week Aidan has been on Spring break. From moment to moment, hour to hour I go from "wow this is great!!" to "OMG what am I doing?!?" So, that's how it's been so far. Now to the WHY...
/*I want to begin this by saying Emma is unaware of any of the details below. We do not and have not discussed the details that lead to her removal of the school in front of her. She knows of the 2 conferences, but knows nothing about further meetings/phone calls. All she knows is we had concerns and we as parents made a decision we felt was best for her.*/
A bit of a timeline. Emma's teacher started the end of Sept/beginning of October. Her first teacher had to leave after about 8 weeks for family reasons. After receiving her mid Oct grade card I had some questions and felt unsettled on how exactly Emma was performing. I called a conference with the teacher the end of Oct. Two fold. One to meet her and secondly to visit with her about her initial evaluation of Emma and the work she was completing. She assured me all was well, Emma was doing great, reading above grade level and could already easily pass the end of 3rd grade state reading test needed to move on to 4th. Her only suggestion Emma needed to work on her multiplication facts. She shared that the previous teacher didn't have the class where they "should" be, so she just skipped to where they needed to be. Mmm...K?! What about that content? I expressed interest in what they were learning and she referred me to look at her newsletter. More on that later.
A defining moment in that conference was when we were discussing Emma being marked down on her grade card for "not seeking help when needed". I told the teacher Emma seems to associate asking for help with being in trouble. Her response: "Oh I can see her over there drowning needing help, but asking for help is a life lesson. I have kids who come up and ask for help and I tell them *wagging her finger in the air* YOU go sit back down. YOU do NOT need help! Because I can tell when a kid just wants me to do it for them."
Hmm...OK. Well I can assure you Emma is sitting over there thinking "Man if I had just listened better. Man I should know how to do this. I shouldn't need help on this." Also keep in mind she had had Emma in class at that point for less than 4 weeks after replacing the teacher Emma adored. The two teachers were like night and day and different in every possible way of teaching style and demeanor. Ever heard of building a relationship with your students? That's found in your heart, not a college textbook or exam.
Over the month of Nov & beginning of Dec Emma came home telling of some things being said by her teacher in the classroom that rubbed us the wrong way. No, actually to be honest, what the teacher was saying was down right inappropriate/unprofessional in our opinion. During this time we also witnessed Emma's frustration grow and confidence plummet. She didn't seem to be enjoying school and wasn't caring about her work like the usual Emma we knew. Our final straw was when Emma repeated something her teacher said and told me "mom it's like she tries to scare us into learning?!"
This time daddy called a conference. (Mid-Dec)
In their conference she again assured Matt Emma was doing well. No concerns. Repeating that if she had concerns SHE would be calling a conference, not us. She did finally share with us AR goals, expectations for a math software students were to be working on at home and again pointed Matt toward her newsletter for info on skills being taught. Matt expressed concern with lack of (graded) work coming home-- as in we had received NO PAPERS HOME AT ALL. It's DECEMBER! She assured us she would gather a packet of work over the holiday break and made it to seem she would start doing "Weekly Packets" which is the school policy.
School starts back up in January after break. One Monday goes by- no graded papers home. In the meantime I grow frustrated that my attempts to get info about Emma's AR points & scores are getting no where that I go "over" the teacher and contact the librarian. I was shocked when I learned from librarian that Emma's point total was significantly lower than it should have been in order to reach the year end goal. Guess what happened by weeks end? "Coincidentally" the teacher decided that week to start sending home weekly AR slips for each student so parents could be informed of students AR scores & point totals. Hey at least it's communication!? Another Monday goes by- nada packet-o.
Then a grade card comes home. We are 1/2 way through the year and she is still "developing" on every skill. Hadn't received a "Meets" on a single standard. In a casual conversation at the school's talent show I expressed to the teacher I was puzzled how 1/2 way through the year she hadn't met a single standard, yet we are told "she's doing great, no concerns". The teacher told me Emma had indeed received "Meets" in some areas. I told her no in fact she didn't, but the teacher continued to say she should have and seemed so sure I backed off and decided to check when I got home. I did and I was right.
By this point (late Jan) the weekly AR slips had already stopped. Got about 2-3 weeks of those. We have a stack of 4-5 newsletters that are as vague as can be on skills being taught....as in all the newsletters had the same subject skills listed for the last 4 months. Grade card seems inaccurate to what the teacher is verbally telling us and STILL NO graded papers/packets sent home as discussed in Dec. conference.
Finally the 29th of Jan. Matt calls the school to set up a meeting with someone higher on the chain of command. Due to a mix up in the office the teacher ends up getting Matt's number, rather than the Vice Principal. Matt wasn't exactly pleased with this and being caught off guard receiving a call from the teacher rather than VP he and the teacher exchanged some words, probably a bit more direct since Matt was at work and in work mode...which was probably good.
It was in that conversation the 5000 comes into play. The teacher tells Matt she is...wait for it....wait for it... 5000 papers behind in grading. 5000 as in FIVE THOUSDAND, or 500 x 10 or 1000+1000+1000+1000+1000. Five thousand papers behind in grading. Let that soak in... Question- Would consider the most recent grade card valid?
At this point the teacher is now aware we are trying to meet with her boss. NOT what we wanted. We hoped she would be professional enough to not take it out on Emma, but some of the things we had heard or Emma had repeated made us worry. So, in an attempt to meet our apparent outlandish demands of seeing our child's work, teacher sent home some papers. Keep in mind it's JANUARY 29, 2013...the papers sent home were dated.....OCTOBER. As in October 2012. As in from the first 3 weeks of the teacher taking over the class.
After a bit of phone tag I reach the Vice Principal. She was very attentive to our concerns. She took detailed notes of our conversation and told us to expect packets of papers. A week after our conversation we receive some papers from the beginning of January. We received another couple papers toward the beginning of Feb. (I have them dated somewhere around here...too lazy to go find them). Then another dry spell. Giving the teacher the benefit of the doubt that maybe she was going to do some grading over winter break the end of Feb. I waited. Monday after break- no packet. Hmm...well maybe Tuesday...nope.
I call the VP again (March 5th) questioning what her expectation was on us receiving packets. Weekly? Every two weeks? Once a month? I knew I was expecting weekly like in 2nd grade, like what our 3rd grade neighbor girl gets, but wanted to confirm what the VP expectation was. She said expect weekly work on Mondays. Monday we received 3 loose papers. One from Jan, two from early Feb. Work over a month old at this point. And to you teachers reading this the work is what I'd classify as "busy" work. And hey, I totally get that kind of work is needed sometimes. Been there done that. But we were seeking spelling tests we help her study for. Social studies or Science quizzes and tests they had on a weekly basis that we studied for with her. How about some math? Even with our demands for graded work we NEVER once the entire year laid eyes on a math paper, test, NOTHING.
So what seemed to be a half assed attempt to appease us we started looking at our options. Transfer was out. They are not granted mid year unless it's due abuse/harm to the child. We didn't request a teacher switch and they didn't offer. I'm not sure that would have been easier on Emma than pulling to school at home. Drastic- maybe. What we felt was best- yes. These couple of months & the summer gives me the chance to see where she is, how she is doing and focus on skills needed. Because goodness knows the teacher admitted to skipping material, she's not grading papers to ensure children understand a concept before moving on to the next skill if she is 5k papers behind in grading and much of the content was memorization and regurgitation in prep for the year end state test. I haven't even touched on my feelings on homework quantity and the method of homework she (& no other teacher in 3rd grade there) used.
To offer a bit of history Emma has asked, well begged, to homeschool since Kindergarten when one of her friends from preK started homeschooling. I would say she mentions it a couple times a month. We would always tell her she would miss her friends, cheer club, this or that. She has had a teacher change every year of school. First grade was 2 weeks into school. Second grade was about 6 weeks into school when her teacher left to have a baby and never came back. Then another 2nd grade change when we moved here. She was so sad this year when her first teacher left. She was so sweet and had a warm gentle spirit about her. Emma cried and cried the day it was announced she was leaving. "Mommy I just want a year where I have the same teacher on the last day that I had on my first." Seems like a simple request, but she's 1:4 on that happening and Kindergarten was a long time ago in her little life!
So, now all she's got is me! She is loving it, although we have had a few hiccups where I have to remind her she would never speak to her teacher they way she is speaking to Momma! :) I opted not to purchase a curriculum and work up my own curriculum of 3rd grade skills by looking at the Common Core standards, plus I have a dear friend who is an awesome 3rd grade teacher who keeps me up to date on what she's doing in her class. :) Of course the internet is a wealth of resources. I have found myself frustrated the last week, but then remember 1/2 the stress in this now is the prep of lesson plans on my part, where if I had a curriculum it would be easier for me! I have dear friends who either have or are currently homeschooling and have been instrumental in informing me about their experiences of homeschooling. Their support has rescued me!!
We honestly aren't sure where we go from here. From minute to minute, hour to hour I waiver from "this is great!!" to "I can't wait for fall to get them both in school". Emma LOVES and always has, to play school so right now she is eating it up. It is affording us some great time together. I can get my finger on some behaviors as they are displayed. We had grown concerned with some social influences with some of her peers, and the removal from those is another plus to homeschooling. At the same time I know how she is socially wired and loves the school atmosphere. I also know placing her in a bubble isn't realistic, rather coming along side her as she is exposed to social situations while living in our home and under our care is important to us.
So, that's the loooong Teresa-winded explanation to those interested. Right now I'm focusing on finishing up her 3rd grade "year". Completely unsure of what the fall will look like and in a very odd, unusual and non-Teresa way I am completely at peace with that. She may return to her previous school for 4th grade. We have also applied for a transfer to another nearby school to keep our options open. Unfortunately private school for she and Aidan (come fall) is simply out of the question. And I won't discount future homeschooling as a 3rd possible option. Time will tell and hopefully we will be guided in the direction He wants us to go...as He has thus far.
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