So happy I can barely form sentences and so overcome being an emotional sap that I am typing through tears. Cry after our skype to hear the news, as I typed this, when it became FB official, while reading the FB comments & pretty much anytime I thought about it today. And NO I'm not pregnant! :) Hope it makes some sense. Just so, so happy!!!
Let me ask...
Have you ever wanted something for someone else sooooo, SO bad that you would forgo wishes & dreams for yourself to see it happen for that someone?
Have you ever prayed and prayed for a blessing for someone for years upon years all the while questioning God for his obvious delay in answering? Or maybe it was an oversight. God, this ONE time in all of His time of ruling the universe, must be overlooking this ONE thing. And God...do it in MY timing...because I 'm certain I'm right on this...
Have you ever wished the same wish on every.single.falling.star for 18 years, just in case the whole wishin' on stars thing worked?
Have you ever felt a sense of guilt for your blessings b/c things didn't unfold in the sequence you felt life meant them to? Like you were stealing someone else's "time". A younger sibling stealing the "firsts" of an older sibling. Marriage. Parenthood. Etc.
I have.
In the 18 years following my older brothers accident I have wanted nothing more than to see him happy. Now, don't get me wrong, he has been happy. He has demonstrated nothing less than a positive outlook & sense of determination from the onset of his injury. He has never once verbally complained about the path God put him on. He's always got a joke. Something witty to say. A clever remark or quote from a comedic movie. A snoop Dog impersonation. A snizzle of humor that we always said could land him as a writer for a show. He watched his two little sisters marry, bring him brother-in-laws and a handful of rug rat niece & nephews to the family. Even wrote & read an unbelievable reading at my wedding about God's desire for us to be in relationship & His perfect timing for such companionship.
There have been rough days along the way. Times of loneliness. Times where dependence on others must have felt hopeless. But you would seldom have known it.
But what I desperately wanted for him was companionship. To ease the hard days. To share in the joy. He had it to a degree with Big L, his service dog, and that loss is still deep. But surely God had even more in mind for His son...
And now...in His perfect timing He has brought forth a perfect match for my brother, well...besides the whole K-State thing, but one can't expect perfection. :) She's a beautiful, sincere, caring girl with a contagious laugh that fits well with all his jokes. One who is able to look beyond his physical limitations and see his heart. She can see the kindness in his words & actions and his attentive desire to make even her little wishes come true. She understands that love is about your partners commitment to the journey by your side rather than his ability to physically maneuver it.
So, God, I must admit you knew what you were doing after all. Huh?! Who knew?!?! I'll give you a break today....well on this issue...when-oh-when will my anxious worrying heart get IT!!!???
Looking SO forward to a fall wedding. I can say with confidence months before it will even happen that it will rank as one of my most favorite days EVAH.
Congrats to my brother Adam & my soon-to-be sister in law Beth!!!!
Now to get these emotions under control!!! Afraid all this sappy crying I'm doing is going to confuse my children. Happy tears my children, happy tears. Now to go rehydrate. Can one dehydrate from tear loss?
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